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city-inthestars
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notlostonanadventure:

bustysaintclair:

Kids please don’t think that it’s unusual or special to be dating someone with whom you can watch netflix and eat pizza and hold hands and also have hot sex with

It concerns me when I see millions of notes on a post that’s like “fuck me hard but also be sweet with me”

Like what kinds of relationships are you in that you think this is a revolutionary thing to ask

None. The answer is none.

—>

postllimit:

why iphones gotta take two million years to turn back on after they die like you plug em in and you’re all ready to start texting again but they’re like “nope. i gotta take some time for myself. figure out who i am. you hurt me too much the last time. let me think.”

bloodbending:

demoncolbert:

OH MY GOD

i went into the bank and asked what day it was and the teller said “march 26th” so i asked “and the year?” and she kinda looked at me for a second before saying “2012”. i threw my hands up in the air and yelled “IT WORKED” before turning to leave.

THEN AS I WAS JOGGING OUT OF THE BANK SOME OTHER DUDE CAME UP TO ME LIKE “HOLY CRAP, YOUR MACHINE WORKED TOO?” AND WE HIGH FIVED AND RAN OFF.

WHAT IF HE WAS ACTUALLY A TIME TRAVELER

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"I am constantly torn between wanting to improve myself and wanting to destroy myself."


alittlebitofdisneymagic:

forgettingfilm:

saoritsukiyaori:

hatcadet:

juodaanviinaa:

fuzzypigs:

claybabay:

NEED MONEY FOR COLLEGE

NEED COLLEGE FOR JOB

NEED JOB FOR MONEY

WAHT

WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS SYSTEM

NEED EXPERIENCE FOR JOB

NEED JOB TO GET EXPERIENCE

NEED CAR FOR JOB

NEED JOB FOR CAR

GOTTA EAT TO LIVE
GOTTA STEAL TO EAT
TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT WHEN I GOT THE TIME

ONE JUMP AHEAD OF THE SLOWPOKES

ONE SKIP AHEAD OF MY DOOM

NEXT TIME GOTTA USE A NOM DE PLUME

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It got better

sluttiestkitten:

all girls are fucking beautiful and if you try to make them feel like they aren’t because they have fuzzy legs or chubby bellies fuck you

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