409422 Reblog

1 minute ago

the-fake-commander-shepard:

My parents are lucky I was too lazy to go through a rebellious phase

(Source: shepardism, via disowns)

222241 Reblog

2 minutes ago

richard-sp8-jr:

when i was in kindergarten i had this babysitter who cooked the best steak i’d ever had and i’d always ask what it was and she said “people” every time and i’d laugh and ask what it really was and she’d just reply “people” and i found out in first grade that she got arrested and was sentenced to 50 years-life in prison

and that’s the story about how my babysitter was basically hannibal lecter and i was will graham for a whole year

(Source: jumpingjaverts, via psychedelicpsych0path)

91067 Reblog

3 minutes ago

beelzebrox:

My boss wanted to see my tattoo (the anti-possession one) today and he was like “What possessed you to get that?!” and I just

image

(via hellagayyylmao)

103463 Reblog

4 minutes ago

"How beautiful is it that someone could make your heart beat so fast when you don’t want it to beat at all."
422992 Reblog

4 minutes ago

american-mouth-flightless-bird:

"ARE WE REALLY HITTING ON EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW OR ARE WE KIDDING?!!" The Musical.

(Source: crayola-colored-skeletons, via 69ml)

15693 Reblog

4 minutes ago

256730 Reblog

9 minutes ago

lightneverfades:

beahbeah:

confuzzeldmind:

WHOEVER BUYS THIS FOR ME WINS MY ETERNAL LOVE

I OWN THIS
EVERY MORNING HE SAYS SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT HOW THE WORLD NEEDS YOU AND YOU HAVE TO GET UP
AND WHEN YOU PRESS THE BUTTON TO HUSH HIM HE SAYS “DEFTLY DONE, MADAM,” OR “IF IT’S NOT TOO FORWARD OF ME, THAT DID TICKLE, MADAM”
IT WAKES YOU UP WITH THE SOUND OF CHIRPING BIRDS BEFORE STEPHEN FRY’S VOICE
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ONE

THIS IS LIKE JARVIS. 
A REAL JARVIS EXCEPT HE’S A CLOCK.
236682 Reblog

10 minutes ago

54440 Reblog

11 minutes ago

choreograph:

 
249455 Reblog

13 minutes ago

deepwithinthedeadliestdarkness:

equalistsfuckshitup:

story time when i was 16 my mom and i were watching ellen and my mom says 

‘oh look my favorite lesbian!’

and i said ‘i thought i was your favorite lesbian?’

and she just stared at me for a moment and said 

‘oh ok. ‘

and we just continued watching 

and thats how i came out to my mother

Fucking A Star.

(via psychedelicpsych0path)

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